Everything I Needed To Know, I Learned From My Wife
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He needs time to process and think during our conversations. My mind works at warp speed, and I communicate for a living. My husband is a methodical thinker and a high introvert. Just imagine our conversations! Once I learned that his silence meant he was thinking and processing, and not ignoring me, I learned to stay quiet and wait, instead of adding more information, asking questions, or changing topics. Picture the difference between waffles and spaghetti. Waffles have neat, individual squares. Spaghetti is a mass of intertwined and interconnected noodles. Men think and process emotions and interactions like waffles, one at a time.
One morning, my husband and I had an argument, and the issue remained unresolved when he left for work. I fretted all day. Our argument was in another waffle square, and would be revisited later.
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He was at work, mind, body, and emotions. Girlfriends can talk for hours about every nuance, possibility, and angle of any subject. He considers sitting side by side watching sports, or doing other activities together, without any conversation, as quality time together! This is radically different from my idea of quality time, but I am learning to lean in and enjoy this time together.
Husbands Have a Sacred Responsibility
Instead, I smiled tenderly and held his hand while the movie continued. While this would be a terrific superpower for husbands to have, the only way they know our thoughts and feelings, is if we tell them! Remembering to thank him for all the efforts he makes, on behalf of me and our family, offering words of praise, being interested in the things he wants to discuss, all communicate my respect for him. Sex IS his way of connecting. This is the chicken and egg question of every marriage. Naming this as normal has helped me understand him and connect in his way more often! While every marriage is unique, these 10 things can apply to most because they are true about most men.
Learning them has helped me be a better wife, as well as equipped me to help couples improve their marriages as well. Originally Published on Huffington Post.
Susie Miller, is an Author, Coach and Speaker, dedicated to helping you create better personal and professional relationships in 30 days or less! Susie equips high potential entrepreneurs and executives to reduce stress, improve communication, and most importantly, not bankrupt their relationships in pursuit of profits — so they truly can Maximize their Success!
Susie has been married to John for 32 years, and they have 3 adult children. Check out her website. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. My name is also Suzie, I was widowed at I want space to cool down and think. I personally think that fights are not healthy in a relationship.
If you trust each other and are always honest, fights are basically non-existent. Disagreements on things are definitely okay, and when resolved properly, can certainly make a couple stronger. How often are you fighting with your partner? We tried planning our wedding for almost 4 years. We googled it and found a package where we would leave Las Vegas by helicopter and do the ceremony on the Grand Canyon.
We booked it two months before the wedding. We got our rings a few days before and our tux and gown a day before.
We would have liked to have people around us, but ultimately that day was for us, not for others. Who was or will be your wedding about? Spending 24 hours with another person every day in routine is not healthy. That gives me time to catch up on my own hobbies like playing video games or doing more productive activities. What do you do separately? How frequently do you do things separately? We bounce ideas off of each other.
We handle finances together to some degree. We do chores together. We make big life decisions together. We are strong separately but we are stronger together. She would have been completely lost navigating cities without me. I handle most situations in a logical way and she helps me realize my emotions.
How good is your team dynamic in your couple? For me, even after all these years, remains about passion.
10 Things I Learned About My Husband That Made Me A Better Wife - The Good Men Project
Quality over quantity. How frequently do you have sex? How good is it? Without good communication, even with the above lessons, our relationship probably would not have worked. Our latest 6 months apart with barely any communication was damn hard. They tell each other the truth, even when it hurts. My wife swears by this book: Crucial Conversations.
Failure to see
We recommend it to everyone. How healthy is your communication in your couple?
I was just a kid. The moments we spent together have been nothing short of magical. Learn the lessons, but most importantly, apply them.
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